Real Talk: Relationships

"Wobbles the Mind" (wobblesthemind) 05/27/2016 at 22:00 • Filed to: Real Talk

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If you purchase a vehicle and then immediately modify it, was it ever the car you wanted to begin with? You fell in love with the vehicle at first sight, the reviews say it’s the best in its class, you test drive it and can no longer imagine how you lived your life without it! Of course you purchase the vehicle of your dreams! How did some slub like you find such a perfect vehicle?

Then within two months you have changed the wheels, tires, suspension, ECU tuning, color, anything and whatever. Your excuse? “You’re making it better...” Did you really love the vehicle for what it was or did you love it for what you could turn it into?

Shouldnt we ask ourselves this before starting any and all relationships? Seriously, if you aren’t happy with your relationship, ask yourself why are you with them, and is that something you changed about them or vice versa? “They aren’t the same as they were when I met them!” Well of course not, they changed for you! Or maybe they are the same as when you met them, you just didn’t bother to spend the time to get to know them the way they left the factory! Now, even after all the changes you have forced on them and only using them as a tool for your own means, you have decided that you can do better...tsk, tsk. Confidence in your own abilities, because you have so much more experience now than before. Far more skillful, ready for a vehicle that can keep up with you and help you grow further.

Check out that hot new model on the show room. So beautiful, curves in the right places, aggressive yet approachable. You have to know more, spend some time with them. You finally get that one-one time with that seductive new model. That one experience opens you up to a world of pleasures you had forgotten existed!

“That chassis was so stiff...the steering so tight...I forgot what it’s like to be the first person inside a car!” That emotional click! That thrist, that thrill, that tremble of nervousness you get when you want to keep pushing, progressing things forward but unsure if you’re going too far...or worse, not far enough! Are things moving too fast? Who cares! This is the place where pleasure meets passion, and you’re in the driver’s seat, in control!

You’re afraid to let go of that previous model. They’ve been good to you. Never left you stranded, always reliable, low maintenance, and any issues you had were fixed over a weekend of quality time together. So what do you do? You do the worse thing possible, of course, and try to have both!

Now you are juggling two vehicles and one of them is going to be neglected more and more as you naturally gravitate towards the other. We all can guess which model gets the bulk of your attention and affections. Planning weekends and trips with that other model. Doing autocrosses and track days that the old model hasn’t gotten to do since you first got together. Then the day comes when finances are hurting and you can’t afford to play this tight rope act any longer. One gets kicked out into some strange life they didn’t choose, all because of someone else’s selfishness.

Time goes by, you get nostalgic and begin to miss that old model. They were so good to you and not nearly as much trouble and high maintenance as this newer model! So you decide to look up that old model, see what kind of life they have.

Either you end up seeing them looking better than they ever did with you. They’re in some huge three car garage all to themselves in a much nicer neighborhood than that uncovered apartment parking space you had them in. Or you find out that they have been abused and neglected and are spiraling down the fast lane to becoming junked out on the streets and looking nothing like their former self. Either way, you start looking for something that reminds you of that old model, and guess what? That newer model is all of a sudden finding itself in the same position as the car they displaced. You haven’t learned a damn thing...

Hmph!

No matter how good you are, how perfect you are for someone, it won’t keep you together. But know that it isn’t your fault, you’ve done nothing wrong! Youve been a damn good car since day one all the way to the end! That person just didn’t take the time to really get to know you when you were stock, and spend the extra time to really figure out that maybe the answer to how to handle you better was an issue of a wider front tire rather than forced weight loss or changing the way you looked! Keep your spoiler up and don’t fall for all the nice things they buy you. Look at how they treat you, because when they treat you right, those years fly by and people are wondering how you have been together for 20 years. You can only rev up happily because it only feels like you’ve been driving together for days, and yet you’ve been together all your life...

A car is as good as its owner. That’s why when cars go back onto the market it isn’t about what they can do, it’s about how well they were kept. That’s why people can happily own a car for years and never put miles on it.

Leave your cars stock a little longer Oppo, that’s all we ask.

Sincerely,

A Car That Misses Its Owner...

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:05

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Nope

*goes on a part buying spree*

DrJohannVegas > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:06

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I think this is the modern version of the Ship of Theseus.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > DrJohannVegas 05/27/2016 at 22:11

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My pickup is “stock” but I have a stack of service records thicker than the Bible.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:12

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And this is why I have two cars with completely different roles. Comfy heavy-ass highway bruiser with a bangin’ sound system and power everything, and my super tiny handling-focused Miata that doesn’t even have a radio.

Wobbles the Mind > DrJohannVegas 05/27/2016 at 22:12

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About an hour and a half ago it started off as just that question, but then I went inside my head and became an early 2000s Corolla that’s being cheated on...

RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:14

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wat

actually, for me it depends on the car. Some cars fall way short of what they should be, others are fine just the way they are.

DrJohannVegas > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:17

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There’s a much deeper conversation to be had about entropy, disentropy, causality, time, and existentialism, but I just cracked into my third beer, so I am officially off the clock.

But, imagine me waving my hand vigorously and saying “humans experience time psuedo-linearally, and that’s the problem” with a Jersey accent tempered by time in the Midwest. Now you are in my living room.

Wobbles the Mind > DrJohannVegas 05/27/2016 at 22:19

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Your living room is a lot more spacious and better lit than mine! There’s something deep in here, but unfortunately it’s coming from Wobbles the Kiddy Pool.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:20

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“That’s why people can happily own a car and never put miles on it.”

Enjoy... car... by... NOT???... DRIVING????!

Junkrat aka Rick Sanchez: Fury Road Edition > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:21

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Sometimes people like certain new cars because they can modify them. Maybe you can install a far superior suspension setup for far less than the cost of the “sport” package. You might love everything but the wheels. There is no perfect car, some people like some aspects and not others. You can be in love with a flawed car, lots of us are.

Svend > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:21

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Piglet is completely stock. I keep thinking of changing some of the welcome (just the door mirror, not the front and rear clusters), puddle (door sill) and footwell light bulbs with LEDs but keep thinking, ‘they ain’t broke, why change them’.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > DrJohannVegas 05/27/2016 at 22:22

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Now imagine me opening only my second beer, and replying: “.... Celica.”

Wobbles the Mind > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/27/2016 at 22:23

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It’s a thing! Classic car shows and low mileage late 90s Impalas prove it!

DrJohannVegas > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 05/27/2016 at 22:24

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Whether or not the information content of your utterance is recoverable after crossing the event horizon of my brain is a matter of some scientific debate.

Mid Engine > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:30

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Where to begin? Enthusiasts don’t treat their car like an appliance.

Mods to 2013 Jetta TDI with Premium package:

Tinted windows $225
Rear spoiler $255
Mudflaps $90
Transparent rear bumper cover $52

TDI front license plate frame $30

VW logo stem caps $20
SDHC card for the head unit $20
Gentex GENK50A mirror with HomeLink, compass, temp $249
Auto on/off headlights $120
Stainless steel exhaust tips $35
Sill plates $82

LED’s inside the car $90

LED city lights $25

LED tail lights $40

LED Back up lights $40

Rear license plate LED’s $43

Sports pedals $46

Right side steering wheel MFD control $65
Tao Tronics Rear license plate back up camera $50

Pioneer AVIC AVIC-X850BT headunit/GPS $450

Auto wiper kit $80

(2) grocery hooks $25

Fog light kit (ebay) $129

Autopage ADSALCA ADS Immobilizer Bypass and Doorlock $55

AutoPage C3-RS730LCD Remote Car Starter/Alarm $121

VCDS tool $200

Car cover $130

Michelin Primacy MXV4 tires $431

Or, maybe you want to hate my Porsche?

Modifications and upgrades to my 2007 Cayman

Factory options:

19" Carrera S Mags

Bi-Xenon Headlamps

Self-Dim Mirrors

Rain Sensor

Automatic Climate Control

Clear side markers

Exterior:

LED spars wired as DRL’s (replaced stock round fog lights)

Porsche Mesh front/sides/rear

Escort Passport 9500ci Radar detector & jammer

Mower Deck Axle Front license plate screwed into tow hook, Porsche license plate frame

Porsche Tequipment metal gas cap

Boothe wheel lugs, Tikore security lugs

Color centerpieces in wheels

Porsche logo valve stem covers

Michelin Pilot Supersport tires, TPMS sensors, alignment

Debadged trunk, replaced with P O R S C H E

LED license plate bulb, Cayman license plate frame

Back up camera

Frunk:

Lloyds Frunk trunk mat

Schild trunk protector

LED lights

Interstate battery

Cayman badge from trunk deck affixed to Schild

JL Audio XD600/6 amplifier

Trunk:

Weathertech trunk liner

LED lights in trunk

Custom subwoofer enclosure with 10” JL Audio subwoofer

Trunk rattle fixed

Interior:

Tinted windows (40%)

LED lighting

9500ci display installed in in the rear view mirror (etched window)

Carbon graphite shifter with new leather boot

Carbon graphite steering wheel

Leather/aluminum hand brake

Suncoast aluminum sports pedals

Pioneer AVIC-X930BT head unit (CD, DVD, GPS, SDHC)

Infinity reference speakers

HD radio module

Bluetooth microphone

Replaced ashtray

B pillar squeak fixed

New carpets (mats), Weathertech mats for winter

Performance/convenience

De-snorked

Sprint booster

Porsche OEM short shifter

Numeric Racing shift cables

BMC air filter

Carnewal GT exhaust, Cayman S exhaust tips

Remote KEY

Maintenance

oil changes, LN magnetic drain plug, Porsche oil filter wrench

Plugs, serpentine belt, air filters, wipers, bled the brakes, low horn, water pump

Durametric OBDII tool

CETEK 3300 battery maintainer

Porsche tire pressure gauge

Wheel hangers

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:38

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I loved my 2002 Dakota at first sight, I’ve been trying to turn my 2006 ram into what my Dakota was.

Land_Yacht_225 > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:39

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This is why I am the worst kind of purist. A car is designed the way it is for a reason. I don’t modify unless it enables a car to perform as designed better; like Arnott air struts, redesigned Northstar head gaskets, if I could convert my S600 coil packs to individual coil on plug (if such a thing existed), I would.

Don’t ever fall in love with a car for what it can be. You’ll hate it until you mold it into what you want it to be, and then get bored with it in 5 minutes when the work is done.

qbeezy > Wobbles the Mind 05/27/2016 at 22:53

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“Leave your cars stock a little longer Oppo, that’s all we ask.”

What? Exhaust too loud too hear!

DipodomysDeserti > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 05/27/2016 at 23:33

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Or three cars and a motorcycle : )

DipodomysDeserti > Land_Yacht_225 05/27/2016 at 23:35

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I come from a hot rodder mindset. Cars are made to make money. I make a car for it to be fun!

Land_Yacht_225 > DipodomysDeserti 05/28/2016 at 11:31

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And I buy cars that are fun out of the box...like supercharged Buicks and V12 Benzes.

DipodomysDeserti > Land_Yacht_225 05/28/2016 at 12:10

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You definitely have to buy cars that are fun out of the box, but you can always make them “funner”. I’ve actually left my Abarth stock for the last few years, but I’m about ready to get some more power out of it now that I’m about to replace the stock tires. The suspension and brakes are good for what it is...for now.

I feel older vehicles are more fun to modify. I’m currently modifying my ‘73 CL450 which was a fun bike stock, but now it about thirty pounds lighter. I might end up putting performance carbs and cams in it which should really up the fun factor. My ‘66 GMC has a 350 with a mild cam and Edelbrock carb, intake, and Hedman headers is a blast. Turned a wheezy old truck into a tire shredding beast...until the transmission let go. Now I'll have to upgrade that.